Moonday, Sarenith 6, 4722 (morning)
There’s no settlement near the halfway point between Veldraine and Korvosa so the coaches have to stop at a suitable spot in the wild and set up a camp. They do this every trip, both to and from, and have done so for as long as they’ve been operating. Nothing to worry about.
So naturally, we were attacked around midnight by bizarre, black, puma-like creatures with barbed tentacles extending from their shoulders. And that wasn’t even the weird part. The weird part was, when you looked at them, you saw them a few feet away from where they actually were. The whole experience was rather creepy, especially in the dark because did I mention they were black? And, yes, I can see in total darkness up to a point, but it’s like seeing in black and white, and…well, black is still black, isn’t it?
They snuck up on us while I was on watch. There was this moment where everything around us went still and quiet and I knew we were in trouble. Fortunately, Viktor had this spell that made a kind of opaque dome that we could see out of, but which you couldn’t see into, so I was able to duck in and wake the others while the whatever-they-were (I think Varin said they are called “displacer beasts”, which is very descriptive if lacking in creativity) tried to figure out where we were.
The problem with that plan, though, was that the dome only covered us. While four of them were content with probing our little shelter, the fifth found that all rather dull and decided the coachmen were far more interesting. It fell to me to provide a distraction. While ultimately I was successful, this was not nearly as pleasant a task as it sounds, and yeah, I am aware that it sounds unpleasant. I managed to drop the thing, but not before it scratched me up pretty badly.
In the end, we killed two and subdued the rest.
Zhog had this idea that we could keep them tied up and maybe sell them to the games master for the games in Korvosa. That sounded kind of crazy to me, but we’ll be in Korvosa this afternoon so we wouldn’t have to manage them for more than a few hours. That made this merely very risky instead of, oh, I don’t know, suicidal. So why not?
(evening)
We circled around Korvosa the bring the displacer beasts in through the city entrance closest to the arena. And, as I should have predicted because people with even a tiny amount of authority just can’t help themselves, the guards there tried to shake us down.
“There’s just the fee for transporting dangerous livestock into the city limits.”
I had no doubt that there really was a fee for this, and we would have been happy to pay it, but I have a pretty good sense for when someone is trying to take advantage of me, and after the night we had, and a full day of transporting these stupid displacer beasts tied up in one of the carriages, I was not in the fucking mood.
Also? I live for this stuff. “Excellent!” I exclaimed. “Then if you don’t mind, can you tell me which regulations cover the fees for transporting dangerous creatures so we can be sure we are compliant?”
“Uh, It’s in the city charter.”
“Yup. Which part?”
“Um, it’s…Article VI. Fif—one hundred gold pieces. Per animal. In cash.”
“Article VI, section…? Paragraph…?”
“Look, I do this every day as it’s my job. I’m the guard, you’re just the traveler. That’s the rules, pay up or no entry.”
“Greetings, I’m pleased to meet you, Mr. Guard! I am Bel, holy warrior of Abadar. Understand that rules and regulations are quite important to us, and we want to be sure we comply with the letter and spirit of the law. Now, since we haven’t been here before, we’d like to go over the specific code which I’m sure you have a copy of somewhere in your guardhouse, to make sure that you are also enforcing the rules and regulations accurately.”
He buried his head in one hand and said, “Oh… followers of Abadar.” Without looking up, he reasserted “Great, then give me the 100 gp for each, and you can be on about your way.”
I nodded enthusiastically, and replied, “But if I just gave you the 100 gp when we weren’t sure if that was the actual fee, it would almost feel like I was giving you a bribe, and that is strictly forbidden, so I need to make sure that we’re giving you the exact amount that is required. So if you don’t mind, I’d like to review those regulations, and we can pull the carriages aside while we work this out.”
It went back and forth like this a couple more times, but in the end, I wore him down. “Just… go! Get out of my sight! Go! Go! I’ll waive the fee! Gods!” he exclaimed. As he was walking away, I could just hear him talking to himself. “I swear, Abadar and his followers…”
And that is how you avoid paying bogus surcharges.
Negotiations for the sale of the displacer beasts are going smoothly. This is something Snagsby has taken point on, and which I am staying out of.
(evening)
Stars, what a day. If you need me, see my associates because I’ll be sleeping until next week.
After crossing the High Bridge into the part of town called Midland, we came across a parade associated with the upcoming Champion Games, complete with musicians, dancers, and a kind of traveling circus. Spectators had lined the streets on both sides, eager to watch it pass by. I’d never seen a parade before. Come to think of it, I’d never even seen an event in a city where people gathered together because they wanted to see it. Public events in Diamond Lake tended to be crime scenes.
I’ll go out on a limb and suggest that, even though I have nothing to compare this to, my first parade experience was decidedly not normal. As we say in the Church, “Results not typical”.
One of the cage wagons had glass surrounding the metal bars and held a three-headed, winged creature that we all recognized as a chimera. As we watched, the dragon head let out a bolt of electricity, that danced along the bars but stayed within the cage, itself. Which explained the glass.
This seemed absurdly dangerous to me. Even relative to what we just did an hour ago. And my concerns were validated just moments later, when the chimera slammed up against the bars of its cage, breaking one loose and shattering the glass. And then it was free, and a chorus of panicked screams rose around us.
Let me tell you how quickly a crowd can disperse when people are properly motivated (and an angry, goat-, lion-, and dragon-headed monster roaming the streets provides sufficient motivation): the crowd scattered around us so fast that the streets were empty in seconds. And from this, you can imply that we stayed where we were because dealing with emergencies like this is what we do.
“Do we gotta keep this alive, guys?” Zhog asked.
“I don’t think so!” I exclaimed.
Our quick intervention saved the life of one of the handlers. He had been knocked to the ground, and the chimera started tearing into him. Snagsby got to him while we distracted the beast, and was able to heal him up before he could bleed to death. With all of us working together, we were able to take it down before it could take to the skies and make the problem much, much worse.
To their credit, the city guard arrived very quickly, and they even seemed genuinely concerned for the public’s safety. I wasn’t sure such a thing was even possible.
(night)
We met Eligos at his manor up in the district called The Heights, which is where people live when they have more money than most families will see in their lifetime. We have manors in Diamond Lake, too, but they are all kind of shabby and sad, nothing like the white marble home surrounded by a neatly landscaped yard with white stone walls that we were staring at here.
We walked up the cobblestone path, with decorative pools and dragon statues on either side, and knocked at the door. After explaining to the valet who answered who sent us and why we were there, we were led to a luxurious sitting room to wait for Eligos, himself. Surprisingly, he did not throw us out—we are a colorful crew—which I guess means Allustan’s name really does count for something in these circles.
For someone who went from “who are you?” to “there’s this cult called the Ebon Triad trying to end the world” in the span of about 30 minutes, he seemed pretty unfazed, and asked that we give him a week to research everything. He was even willing to assist Marzena in the effort to secure a treaty between the city and the denizens of the Mushfens. And for some reason, he didn’t charge us anything. What can I say? Sometimes the world is a baffling place.
He asked if we had found lodging in the city yet, and when we said we had not he directed us to a place called The Crooked House. It is, literally, crooked. Not in the moral sense, but in construction, as there’s not a right angle in the place that I can see. Eligos and the innkeeper, a gnome named Tarquin, are good friends, and so we’ve got a decent, albeit unusual, place to stay at favorable rates.
As far as gnomes go, Tarquin has an absurdly short name for a man, and I have an absurdly long one for a woman (and it would be especially so if I were a gnome, as most women’s names don’t break three letters and rarely break four), so we felt an immediate kinship just on that. I gave him the whole story because he gets it, so why not? And it was nice to just speak gnome with someone I didn’t already know.
Zhog and Snagsby took off after dinner. Snagsby is looking to find a temple to Nocticula. Zhog is looking for…you can probably guess what he’s looking for.