Wealday, Lamashan 9

I never understood why Joaqin spent so many of his nights writing in that book of his until now. If it’s not written down, it’s almost as if it didn’t happen, or as if it happened differently than it did. Memories are hazy and the farther back they are the worse the fog. I doubt that I will ever have the same discipline as Joaqin, and I clearly lack his gift for words, but I see the value in recording events, even if I am not very good at it.

I had what some might call an epiphany tonight: I understand why these goblins attack in what is effectively suicide waves. It is because each and every goblin truly believes that he will succeed where countless others failed and died. It is that simple. You can see it in their faces as they attack. It is as if they don’t understand their own mortality. You could send 100 goblins against an army of men and the last one standing would climb over the bodies of the first 99 to press the attack. The irony is that this works eventually…if you have enough goblins to spare.

Put any town under a loupe and you will find flaws. That may sound bitter and pessimistic but it is a lesson I learned early on at home, then later again, and once more here. It does not surprise me that there have been shady dealings between the elite of Sandpoint, though the consequences have been astonishing. I don’t know if their goal was to destroy this town or if these people simply didn’t understand how events can rapidly spiral out of control, but without our intervention I am sure that destruction would have been the result. It may still be for all we know. I have no doubt that we are only scratching the surface of something much larger. This much is so obvious even simplest of the townsfolk have the same suspicion.

The argument with Kyras was unpleasant though not surprising. We have not been together long enough to learn how to deal with differences in our ideologies (Joaqin would be impressed with my use of that word), and some of us are less flexible than others. I probably started the morning in the former camp but now I am not so sure where I sit.

Thanks to Olithar I can stop worrying about money at least for the near future. My extended stay here has slowly but steadily emptied my purse. I suspect we will be here a while longer.