Calistril 20, 4713 (Ordu-Aganhei, small hours)

Nihali helped calm my anxiety. I wish I’d had her when I was young. Much of what got me into trouble, or rather more trouble than I should have been in, was my lack of self-control. Outbursts, flashes of anger, saying things I’d later regret (or should have regretted a lot sooner), and so on. It wasn’t until I began seriously studying Irori that this really changed, but of course by then it was too late: I had already acquired enough bruises for a lifetime.

Nihali is, in a way, a tiny reflection of myself. She knows me better than anyone, perhaps even better than I know me. And that means she knows why I get into these mental loops, and more importantly how to break them.

All this is a verbose way of saying: I’m ready to get the rest of this out.

I suppose I should start with: the food tonight did not disappoint. Caviar, suckling pig, poached apples, fried potatoes … Qatana and Amieko have cooked for us for months now, but this was the first time they’ve been able to pull out all the stops. What we had tonight was truly gourmet. We needed to make an impact, and make an impact they did. But the enjoyment of it, for me anyway, was dampened heavily by the dinner conversation. Including what followed our little debate on how best to get me away from here.

I may have been stuck in my room all morning and with the Prince all afternoon, but the others weren’t and they made good use of their time. We learned quite a bit more about the situation we’ll be facing in Minkai as well as the road leading there.

The big news was that there really is talk of a nascent rebellion, but the problem is that it is still just talk. The Jade Regent is definitely unpopular, but that doesn’t mean we can just walk in there and rally the people behind us. Are they just going to take Ameiko at her word? Somehow, I doubt they are going to be as accepting as Dasi. More than likely, they’ll be as trusting of her as we are of him and that means we’re going to have to prove her claim. No one knows quite how to do that.

There is also the problem of getting there. The only road between Hongal and Minkai skirts the Forest of Spirits, and it is patrolled by the Jade Regent’s troops. Assuming we could even travel that way without being recognized, the general impression we were left with is that the soldiers are as likely to kill you as they are to protect you. People and wagons simply vanish from that road. Some believe it is the spirits of the forest that are responsible, but most lay the blame at the Jade Regent’s doorstep.

The Forest of Spirits is equally—if not more—problematic. According to the locals, it is not a place for people to go. Most, in fact, believe it to be haunted (hence the name). Exactly how it’s haunted is not clear but there is agreement on one point: if you go in, you are lucky to return. This implies that whatever is in there is not going to take kindly to trespassers. Namely, us.

So, we can’t go through the Forest, and we can’t take the main road around it. Which doesn’t really leave us with a lot of options.

Not that we had a lot of time to figure it out. We still had the performances to deal with, and though we didn’t know it at the time, Dasi, too.

The play was, I suppose, as good as it could have been. It looked beautiful, and the actors gave it their all, but of course they were limited by the source material. That, and plays that are not based in religious text or doctrine just aren’t a thing here, so it was a lot for our audience to take in. The actors, too. One of them even asked me what it was supposed to be teaching us. I didn’t really know how to answer that since there really wasn’t a moral or lesson, except maybe “don’t hire oni to write your plays.” In spite of these limitations I was satisfied with the performance, though that was slightly undercut when one of the actors muttered “I guess we’ll get to keep our heads tonight” under his breath. It was a stark reminder that we had gambled with other peoples’ lives.

As for the dance, we gave the Prince and his court a performance that they will remember for a very long time. Seriously. It was that good.

It was also just a bit subversive. Flamenco is structured improvisation. The music and song are never done the same way, and they serve as inspiration for the dance which means it isn’t, either. They evoke an emotional response which the dancer uses to create a unique performance. Ameiko surprised me by putting to music an old folk tale from Varisia about a young girl who befriends a winter wolf that has wandered south, away from the ice and snow. Varisian is a difficult language in many respects: it’s a mishmash of Giant, Orc, Thassilonean and Taldan, and it’s ripe with double meanings and innuendo. Magic may help you understand what’s being said, but it won’t grant any insights into double entendres, insinuations and hidden meanings. I’d be shocked if anyone there understood that the story and dance were a metaphor for my situation, and ultimately a mockery of the Prince. I like to think that Shelyn would be pleased.

The evening should have ended on this note, but then we met Dasi.

We were completely blindsided. We’ve always assumed that we’d be bringing Ameiko into a country that doesn’t know her, and that we’d need to prove her heritage and her claim. It never occurred to us that someone from Minkai might come to us. And, assuming Dasi is telling the truth, that is exactly what happened.

Of course, the rub there is, how do we know he’s telling the truth? We don’t. Sure, there are spells that can supposedly help, but they are fallible and thus ultimately untrustworthy. We have to figure it out for ourselves. We have to take everything he’s said, dissect it, analyze it, and then make the judgement call.

So, which is it? Scholar and researcher from Minkai, desperately seeking the only royal family known to survive the purge in the desperate hope that he will find an heir to the throne? Or agent of the Five Storms, hunting down the sole remaining heir that is, literally, right in front of him?

These are rhetorical questions.

OK, fine. It was less obvious at the time. When he just came out and asked if we knew anything about the Amatatsu family, I thought we were going to be taking down another oni right then and there. In my room. But, later it occurred to me that neither of the oni we have confronted to date (I don’t count Kikonu, who was deranged and clueless) have been so brazenly direct. Literally walking up to us and asking, “Hey, do you know of an heir?” is about as far from subtle as you can get. And to what aim? I mean, the Five Storms knows she’s here. They even know what she looks like. What’s the point in pretending otherwise? What would be gained by alerting us? If you’re going to be that bold, wouldn’t it make more sense to just ambush us and get it over with?

I was more or less convinced already, and then something truly astonishing happened: Suishen spoke to him, and he was polite. Yeah, I know. I’m as shocked as everyone else.

(Ordu-Aganhei, early morning)

My room was, once again, the retreat of choice for our morning cross-examination of Dasi. Maybe I should consider renting it out for meetings while Radella and I are stuck here. I could even charge for extras, like the coded language spell and such. I am sure Prince Batsaikhar will appreciate my entrepreneurial spirit.

Qatana cast her spell and we asked a bunch of pointless questions. What do you want me to say here? We are walking in circles. Either we trust him or we don’t. At this point, if he is anything other than what he says he is it’s too late to be suspicious. Come on.

Eventually Qatana decided to go the direct route (finally!) and just outright said that Ameiko was the heir. You might call that a “tense moment”. Of course, it was fine. Dasi wants nothing more than to bring the rightful heir back to Minkai. He even swore loyalty to Ameiko right there on the spot. I think we have enough. We’ve had enough since last night. No other answer makes sense. Yet, some of them are still a little suspicious. Get over it.

This trust-you-but-don’t-trust-you thing is going to get old. Worse, it may drive him off. And we’re going to need his help.

I am getting irritated again. Honestly, I think it’s just the stress of the day. We’re getting the caravan out of the city this morning, and then we are going with my Plan B: they leave, I stay, and stick it out until they reach Muliwan. Radella kindly offered to stay behind, too, to keep an eye on me. I accepted. She knows how to be discreet and I may end up needing her help. And, most importantly, she won’t treat me like I’m made of glass.

I also have to reach out to mom and dad and I really don’t want to go through with it. That conversation is actually what I am most anxious about. The Prince, this place, the deception–those things, I can handle. Talking to my parents is another matter: I actually care about what they think.

Speaking of the Prince, Chua interrupted our summit to deliver a present: a jade necklace. It’s lovely, but … I don’t know. It’s so generic. Like some afterthought. It feels like he has a stash of them, and he gives one to all of his brides-to-be. I don’t care, but I guess my pride does.

He’s also assigned two guards to me. They, too, are generic. They’ll keep honest people honest, but that’s about it. I didn’t point out that anyone or anything that is capable of making me feel threatened will crush them without even knowing they are there. I kind of feel bad about thinking that, but it’s true.

Well. I am all sorts of lovely company today.